Lizzy [[Dalek]]'s Journal

Well, I never expected this to happen...
Well, here is an actual post in my IJ that I am actually writing. I say go me? Wahtever, but at least I am writing in something. But for the purpose of this entry is anything but happy at the present moment. Lately I have been feeling moody and I think it's a mix of the weather and the fact mother nature has been around for way too long and I just want it to go away. It doesnt help much that I am stuck working the later shift at work and I am stuck in the bottle room for way too long when all I want to do is be on register. Everyone I talk to has said that I may have found my forte cause I seem really happy when I am on register. I think it is because I am around the customers and I hate being stuck in there where I am not around people. I may not like being around people all the time, but when I am around the customers at work, they are enjoyable to be around and the bottle room gets quite annoying after a while. I mean, who wants to come home smelling like old soda(pop.. haha chrissy! LOL), stale beer and cigarette butts? It's digusting and dirty, and just eww. Besides that I have to work with the worst manager on the face of the planet. Not only is she mean, bitchy and a brownnoser, she also hates my guts, and why, I am still trying to figure out. Other than the fact she has a grudge against my sister and she has to take it out on me. It's in the past, get over it. I am not my sister, so why get pissed at me when I had nothing to do with it? Oh right, I forgot. I am Elana's sister, so OBVIOUSLY Stacy is going to hold that over my head until I die. Nice to know I am appriciated. If you think hightly of me(According to my manger Stacy thinks highly of me of what I do in the bottle room), then why give me shit when you can be nice. It doesnt take a rocket scientist to figure out you hate me. Learn to act 30 years old instead of being 4, Stacy... *end of scarcastic rant*

Now that I got that out of my system and apparently I had that built up for a while, which is why none of my co-workers are ever going to see that on myspace. But I think I needed to say that otherwise I would have blown up at anyone. But I think that is why I have been avoiding rp time with Chrissy and Marissa. I know I have been making a lot of promises that I break, but I am human, and plans change, but I can't help what I say, but I do know that I love rping with the both of them, cause rping with them and everyone else keeps me sane. I know real life can be a bitch sometimes and I hate promising things to them and then something else comes up. I hate feeling like the world's biggest idiot when either Chrissy or Marissa gets hurt that I don't follow through with what I do. But all I can say is that I am trying hard to keep my promises. At least for now. And like Marissa says, I have the attention span of a gnat, so I am bound to get distracted by anything, so it's very easy for me to say that I will be around all weekend and then I end up leaving to hang out with my sister or whatever. But as of now, starting today, I am starting to keep my promises. How you ask? By trying not to promise too much, espeically making ones I know I can't keep. I am catching up on my tags in the comms I am in, and I have to post in several rpgs, and that will be done slowly cause heaven forbid if I do it all in one swoop, my brain will explode like the sun did in the second ep of the first season of doctor who. So we'll see how this goes. I hope good cause heaven forbid I need to work on a lot of things and being around more often to rp and stuff is one of them. At least, I hope I can be around long enough. And Lizzy never gives up!

And here comes to the last part of my entry, and probably the most sad part. I thought losing my mother's friend Clint Richardson was bad enough, but nothing was worse than what my mother told me when she called me this morning. She called cause I had to let her know that one of my managers called asking if I wanted to come in earlier, which I did. And when Mum talked to me, she mentioned if I had read the obituaries online. I told her I didn't and when I asked why she said that a family friend of ours, named Jimmy Fotter had passed away on Friday. That was a low blow because I have known him all my life. He held me when I was born and shares a birthday with my older brother, Peter. (They were both born on April 5th, only different years). It took all my willpower to not cry, but I think the tears are going to come faster than I know, because he was really close to me. He used to come to where I work and talk to me. Even when he was not buying anything. And he would ask for me to bag his groceries, and joke around with me. He and I would talk and clown around when i saw him at McDonalds. He was the director of the band my parents were in and played matchmaker when they met and stuff. I don't know how many times I would visit him with my mom and everytime he would tell me that I looked like her. So hearing my mom tell me that he had died was a serious blow. I knew he was battling cancer, but I didnt know how bad it was until one of my friends told me a week ago that he had been suffering from Cancer and I learned that he had 2 months to live and then it turned to less than a month. Then last week, it went down to a week. Then today I find out he has passed away. It hurts a lot because he was like family more than anyone I knew. This is harder on my mom, but I am sad too. Visting hours are Wednesday, and my sister my mom and I are going. I know I will be crying during that so I am saving my tears for that. All I know is that where I work and McDonalds will never be the same again...

Rest in Peace, James Edward Footer. You will be missed and never forgotton.. I love you. (April 5th 1935-October 17,2008)

And for those who want to read, here is his obituary. He accomplished a lot in his life, and I am proud of him and proud to be one of his "adopted" grand-daughters.

~Lizzy~

( God knows I miss you, all the hell I been through, just knowin no one could ever take your place... )

Current Music: "Who You'd be Today" Kenny Chesney